Hey, so first off, thanks for the tip about ordering pizza unsliced. Gonna do that next time.

We used to have a list on our fridge labeled “Foods Hunter Can’t Have” with the usual - grapes, chocolate, garlic, onion, etc. We had a house party and I walked in to the kitchen at one point and someone was asking, “Damn... Which roommate is Hunter? He’s got nothing to live for.” Hunter was the dog.

The appeal of Tower was that they would stock obscure, hard-to-find things that no one else did. The Internet also serves this purpose, with or without Tower. While I’ve missed the brand, this feels redundant.

Interestingly, I run into the same resistance and flummoxed people when my partner and I say we are happy with our one kid.

Dolly is too classy to say, “What the fuck is it to you and why the fuck do you think you have the right to ask that?”

“Because I don’t want kids” seems to work as well. Just sayin’

And not just once, but twice!

Nah, that whole town voted for Kanye.

I know.  Somehow, I’ve always known.  

I hath arrived to fix thine cable box.

The thrilling settings are actually thrilling. The sarlacc pit, the speeders in the forest and the walkers, the pit in jabba’s palace, there is fucking nothing in the prequels that approaches any of those.  Like...try to put yourself back in the position people were in when they saw those for the first time.  I had a…

This is the most concisely correct response in the history of this series. It is truly the bright response we needed in these dark times.

A bun is connected on one side, so it technically isn’t two pieces of bread. Once definition of a sandwich is meat between two slices of bread. Me, I don’t care.  If a gyro can be a sandwich, then so can hot dogs, tacos, falafel, etc...

Being frozen in carbonite changes you, maaan.

The beginning isn’t pointless, it re-establishes Luke as the top babyface of the series. We had just seen Luke get his ass kicked by Darth Vader at the end of Empire and we were about to see him get his ass kicked again by Palpatine. Luke needed a big win to show that he had both grown as a Jedi and a warrior, and…

I think the Ewoks are unfairly maligned. Yes, they are cute. But they are also dangerous carnivores who like to eat human meat -- they were going to eat our heroes until C3PO convinced them otherwise, and all the empty Stormtrooper armor around implies *something* happened to the people inside them.

But it’s still at least SOME better.

The problem is that George Lucas is a fabulous producer/ideas man, but that’s about as close to the creative process as he should ever be allowed to get. His scripts are almost uniformly terrible, and his direction is average at best.

ESB is the best film in the series precisely because other, more talented people took…

. . . . Ross?

This is the first stage of grief: foaming at the mouth insanity.