Just have my mom home by 11 please.

Yeah, my mother is fond of saying that my great grandmother grew up eating poke (the stalk looks sorta like rhubarb). I had a poke weed growing in my back yard, so I looked up how to cook it.

We cancelled 2 trips and my mother's 74th birthday party. Fuck these selfish assholes.

One might, but one shouldn’t. 

*steps to microphone*

In December of last year, I booked a condo with a view in the San Juan Islands to celebrate my kid’s first birthday this June. My folks bought cross-country plane tickets so they could join in celebrating their first grandchild. We were so fucking pumped. Then the virus came. We cancelled because we’re grown ass…

“We had this trip planned long before all of this stuff, so we weren’t going to back out of it just because of an order that’s unenforceable.” We’re never getting out of this, thanks selfish assholes like this one.

I assume that would just be that gif of a guy snorting an entire table of cocaine.

Okay, but we still need someone at Marvel to acknowledge that No Doubt’s “Sunday Morning” would’ve been a better choice for that climactic fight scene than “Just a Girl”, which, in addition to being too on the nose, doesn’t work as well thematically as “Sunday Morning” would have. In this essay, I will

what in the absolute fuck. ewwww. what the fuck?!

His stage name wasn’t Eddie Creative Commons...

Says the traitor who allowed Russia to use others to hunt down US soldiers.

Yeah this seems like a stretch. I am as liberal as they come but I am not declaring all stupid 80s police films unwatchable now.  Those were never about real police, they are silly fiction

Here I was thinking that the issue with police officers in schools and the “school-to-prison” was that the police officers are manhandling and arresting children for minor infractions. But apparently the issue is that police officers are going into classrooms undercover to ask the children, “Who is your daddy and what…

“But! CNN found another group of scientists who may have a solution to this problem.”

I’ll be honest. Ive never been to any kind of food or drink festival that I walked out of thinking anything but “that was a ripoff” so I’d pass on this even without a pandemic going around.

...I now have Christmas gift ideas for my deeply religious, right-wing family members...

I think the general idea isn’t so much that Harry Shearer shouldn’t be allowed to play Dr Hibbert as maybe not every single character regardless of color needs to be played by a white person. If it were an occasional thing and POC were getting their fair share of voice work, it would be less of an issue.

This. Fast food breakfast was something I justified to myself when I was rushing to get to work and saving a few minutes getting an egg mcmuffin was going to mean the difference whether I was prepared for my 9 AM meeting or not. No commute, no rush, no need. I can’t even imagine what would drive me to leave my own…