This isn’t everyone! Whatever happened to the milkman, the paperboy, or the evening TV?

Hence the chunky sweaters.

Quarantine not going well, buddy?

I’m only saying this because I care—there are a lot of decaffeinated brands on the market today that are just as tasty as the real thing.

As well as an almost complete set of decorative bottles.

No sex? No pancakes? I question the validity of this story. Also, for no reason at all, here’s one of my favorite memes ever...

I called it. This thing with the stupid name is doomed to fail. If people are gonna pay for a new streaming service, they want to get something substantial out of it, like full-length movies or bingeable shows. If they want “quick bites of content,” there’s already YouTube, Facebook, Instagram and TikTok.

There’s nothing magical about the color green that “allows” people to photoshop her clothing. Anyone with the skill could have ‘shopped those clothes onto her regardless of the color she was wearing. Green just happens to be the industry standard color because it doesn’t match natural skin tones, meaning there’s less…

This isn’t sketch, this is improv. But if you are looking for some good sketch, I always liked Whitest Kids You Know, Key and Peele, Portlandia, That Mitchell and Webb look, The Birthday Boys, and who could forget the best sketch group of all time The Kids In The Hall.

I don’t get this at all. It’s like they’re making it up as they go along.

I cried like a tiny baby birthday girl at the end. Anyone who says they didn’t is lying.

Dad always told me ‘Son, if you find a woman who is deadly serious 24/7/365, you marry that woman!’

John Delaney is a failed presidential candidate. John Mulaney is the comedian you’re looking for!

well, she certainly has a type.

I did a reverse Becky/Karen today! O yes I did!

No, we must not question context or circumstance! He must be cancelled!

Lesson learned: we must be Better than Ezra

It (and the Cher show) does get rerun sometimes on one of my cable channels that seems to dig old variety shows.

Everytime I see Jared’s face I want to punch it. I am 58 years old, 5'3" and 150 lbs, 23% bodyfat. Plus I wear glasses. But I know I could fuck. him. up. I see his wormy lips and that Botoxed forehead and I know it would take one crack of my bony knuckles and he would crumble like the crystal dildo he is.