The only rational explaination for that guy is that he sold his soul to the Devil for the ability to never actually suffer direct consequences of anything he does. Which also means that he'll get off the hook when he dies by exploiting the loophole that losing his soul is a consequence of the act he took of signing…

The roaring case of syphilis he’s had since 1978 has eaten it whole.

I’m picturing a Mr. Burns scenario, in which Trump has so many competing viral pathogens inhabiting the bile that courses through his veins, that a stasis is achieved that actually prolongs his life.

Well that certainly is a take

“It is not possible to ascertain from whom the Prince caught the virus

Not really. Hundreds of thousands of people were murdered at Lenin’s orders, including huge chunks of the peasantry leading to a terrible famine in 1922. Because Stalin murdered even more people, and caused worse famines, the pop culture idea of the Soviet Union was that it was great until Stalin fucked it up. But it…

She wipes her ass with rose petals.

The soaker tub is probably in one of the other bath rooms.

It’s going to cost a ton of money to update it to 1985.

Relax. I’m sure it will all be fine after they go back to their own states. See? [drags out map] It will all... [draws arrow vectors from Florida...] ...be fine [...to the rest of the States].

“Shhhhh, don’t tell everyone my secret!”

5G Roll out!

Add in a pile of fury that he can’t go to his Cult of Personality Gatherings and be praised by the gathered faithful, or hightail it to his properties and have his ring kissed by sycophants. For such a blatant narcissist, this situation has got to be killing him.

I’m willing to bet that Trump also resents the hell of the Coronavirus because it, not he, now completely dominates national news. 

....da fuq????.....

I would not have believed this was Madonna if I wasn’t told this was Madonna.  The person in the video doesn’t look 61.  But the person in the video also doesn’t look like Madonna.  Like at all.  

actually age is the great equalizer, but that truth is too harsh for madonna to admit to herself in a bathtub

I applaud all the commenters (so far) for sticking to criticising her comments alone.

Hey, I wear big necklaces in the tub too!  Celebrities, they’re just like us!

I’m not one of those people who calls for guillotines every time some celebrity does something stupid and out of touch, but Jesus fucking Christ