“Accidentally” sent...

I’ve heard shoes like these referred to as “so September 10th.” 

This is what happens when you use Santorum as a hair coloring.

I bet it was a can of the old informercial colored hairspray.

I feel like The Expendables films are only on here to bait me to post my trailers for them.

“I was saying ‘boo-halen’.” ~ Hans Moleman

I’m sure he steamrolled the docs into sending him back to the WH. I predict he’ll be on a ventilator by Saturday. 

Ha ha ha! I saw this one polo-shirt-wearing snap-back-hat jerk stretching out with his WTF-iron and I said to myself, “Self, what would a busy-body white lady do in this instance?” and I pulled out the old cell phone and called the po po

I did a reverse Becky/Karen today! O yes I did!

I had to deal with a very irate person on Monday morning- he was obviously mentally altered in some way - and it was enough to trigger a panic attack. My boss’ boss (VP of operations) sent me home for the rest of the day, instead of having me settle down so I could get back to work. (Good thing she did - I was in A…

First, buttercream or fight me.

P.s. My doctor was a female Pakistani immigrant originally from Afghanistan who would never been allowed to be a doctor and home.

Also known as the “mafia bosses at the end of Casino” approach...

5,000 years ago is a little tough: pretty much all they were doing was spending an hour or two every day breaking pottery for us to later study.

I talk to myself and sometimes re-argue past arguments with people who a) are not there to defend themselves and b) I haven’t spoken to in years. Pantsless of course, because fuck pants.

The laser cube cutter Ship uses on the first guy is one of my favorite animated moments. 

If he were in any way human, Jared would have answered, “to crush your enemies, see them driven before you, and to hear the lamentations of their women!”

Maxipads go on cunts, so this checks out.

See: Benedict Cumberbatch and his wife. 

Reese I can see for Dolly, but Scarlett? How about Kristin Chenoweth?