Five years behind bars...

I’m sorry. Just keep up with your visits and they’ll probably catch anything like that in time. It take a really long time for it to happen (like 10 years if I remember correctly) and I was without insurance/ am emotionally triggered by dentists so hadn’t been in about 4 years. And I have had the worst dental hygiene…

They add salt to it

I literally lost a tooth because past dentists never told me that pretty plastic fillings that match your teeth will eventually shrink and allow bacteria to creep inside. At that point it doesn’t matter how well you take care of your face hole because that tooth is gonna rot. I am part hillbilly now ‘cos most dentists…

I don’t like when Yoko’s tweets make sense. They’re so boring that way.

My god! That is a FANTASTIC eyeroll

That’s really cute. Definitely a fun mom.

Being an only child, I spent loads of time observing my parents and became aware, at a young age, of the symptoms of intoxication.

Nine-year-old:

Ooh my nipples just got hard. I love Marion Cotillard.

Miss Piggy is definitely an inspiration and such a bad ass bitch. Don’t worry audience, Piggy will conquer.

Yes. That one absolutely cracked me up

I literally had to stop watching that show because I hated King Henry and Anne Boleyn so so so fucking much. Love Johnathan Rhys Meyers and Natalie Dormer but if anyone ever deserved to have a run in with Lorena Bobbitt it would be Henry VIII

I love you

No doubt the sperm will just come pouring in.

This may have been covered but why can’t she be fired? Seriously