Trying to slip his Jesusing between jokes about poop is the “put a pill in hamburger” of acceptance speeches.

I feel like Andy would think this guy is very lame.

Are there people who poop first? I never even thought of that as an option.

“He’s definitely the kind of guy who overuses the word ‘awesome’ to describe Jesus,” Stassa Edwards added.

Ms. Perry — and all the women who are forced to interact with Trump, for that matter — would do well to use Bobby as an example:

I mean...are you a real person who has been outside in the world before and is serious? Yes, animals can come outside. Yes, it is simply common sense to ask a person walking a dog if you can pet the dog before just grabbing it.

Maybe the solution is that you just stay home.

Didn’t bother to watch the video, but yeah, don’t touch other people’s dogs unless they tell you it’s ok. Really, seriously don’t. You’re putting yourself and the dog at undue risk.

Welsh Sheepdog.

I bet you if Freddy Prince Jr just gives it a chance, he can turn that dog into a Westminster Kennel Club winner.

Martha is still cuter than every single pug that has ever lived. #comeatmebro

Assholes, uh, find a way.

“I try to stay out of politics.

Ivan(ka) in January: I’ll advise my dad on politics and try to fight for equality, the environment and puppies. Please like me everyone, we’re super cereal and you can trust me.

“I try my best to avoid getting wet.”

Picture of said teens. Apparently they were looking for a g-g-g-g-ghost.

Thank god they’ve got excellent health care!

Gwyneth Paltrow literally says anything...

“Women, in general, get a lot of pushback, especially if you’re successful and attractive.”

The issue is the distinction between refusing a certain service and refusing to serve a customer. For example, say a gay couple comes in and asks for a wedding cake that says SUK IT, STR8 PEOPLE! Any baker could absolutely say, actually, we won’t do that sort of language on a cake, but what we can do for you is a nice…