You are a magical, amazing, perfect person

• Wear embellished hoop earrings this week or I will embellish your hoops, whatever that means.

They can choose to not call on reporters. Knowing that Ramos asks tough questions on immigration reform, Trump very likely would have ignored him. What you’re saying reminds me of the time everyone was pissed at the trans activist who interrupted Obama. Or more recently when BLM interrupted Bernie Sanders. These are…

I have something similar, although you can’t see his snaggly teeth here.

Lexi is really sweet and gregarious but has a BAD case of resting bitch face:

I’m sorry to have to tell you this but that’s not a dog or an ewok. That is a soot sprite:

One of these is not like the others-

5’10” and anywhere between 215-275 lbs. But obviously we all process this stuff differently. I can drink 10 beers and be DRUNK but I’ll get really buzzed on beer 2. I have 2 shots and 3 beers I’m DRUNK. I have 4 cocktails I’m DRUNK. So ya know, what I’m saying is, I’m jealous of your stamina.

I just finished the first season of “Death Row Stories” and it’s impossible to not get the creeps when you think about how much evidence is made up and/or dismissed (think the West Memphis Three). Yes, people are guilty and Syed may be guilty too but I feel like we need some major changes in our legal system.

Thick purple slime. Mmmm

It was 10 years ago

Right?! I drank a whole bottle of MD 20/20 once (far lower alcohol %) over a period of 40 minutes and got horribly sick. And I’m a big girl. I can’t imagine how she didn’t need to be hosputalized.

The teens should know that everything’s gonna be fine, fine, fiiine.

No. No. Nonono.

I never noticed the ring until now but agreed that her image is starting to harass me.

‘Always create a “for porn only” email address!’

You could bounce a quarter off those cheeks

Ah! Good ol’ “Mario Teaches Typing”. My step dad forced me to “play” this “game” for about a week until he realized I was hopeless around a computer. Still true 20 years later.

I refuse to believe that she is 13 because I wasn’t this smart at 13. She is obviously pulling some sort of 21 Jump Street magic