Next year's Oscars should be held outside in the snow at Soldier Field against the Penguins.

I was a segment producer on AM Chicago in the early 80's. It was a follow-on to show to Good Morning America. WLS-TV sports anchor Tim Weigel had wrestled Victor and lost the previous night. I booked Victor and Tim for a rematch in the morning. We had a wrestling mat laid out in the studio. The trainer walked Victor…

And then he fucked the hell out of Susan Sarandon, who is now older than his mother.

This just makes me long for hashish.

Today, we are all Brazilians.

Actually, that is a labium.

This course is a metaphor for the old Soviet communist economy.

Somewhere Jackie Robinson is slow clapping.

The snowflake that failed to bloom into the one of the Olympic rings represented either the Ukraine or Chechnya. Take your pick.

Immediately after the words "Pussy Riot" left Bob's mouth... his eye got a yeast infection.

Cleary de two cameras mans who vas attacked vas gaysexuals.

The victim should be applauded for both her courage and the first productive use of YouTube.

Sherman's March to the ME.

Hot pizza is the only excuse for utensils and then only for the first two pieces. Cutting said pieces with utensils separates them from the pie, and allows them to cool at a more rapid rate. Any use of utensils after the first two pieces is a code violation. Any questions? Jesus.

It worked for Luke and Laura and it will work for Downton.

It means that Peyton has turned each play call into an operetta with him as Diva.

Bono should have won for Best Attendee.

So...he took a drop?

Well, this explains the Detroit Lions record over the last twenty years, which will forever more be known and The Bong Era.

Let's not kid ourselves.