Somewhere Jackie Robinson is slow clapping.

The snowflake that failed to bloom into the one of the Olympic rings represented either the Ukraine or Chechnya. Take your pick.

Immediately after the words "Pussy Riot" left Bob's mouth... his eye got a yeast infection.

Cleary de two cameras mans who vas attacked vas gaysexuals.

The victim should be applauded for both her courage and the first productive use of YouTube.

Sherman's March to the ME.

Hot pizza is the only excuse for utensils and then only for the first two pieces. Cutting said pieces with utensils separates them from the pie, and allows them to cool at a more rapid rate. Any use of utensils after the first two pieces is a code violation. Any questions? Jesus.

It worked for Luke and Laura and it will work for Downton.

It means that Peyton has turned each play call into an operetta with him as Diva.

Bono should have won for Best Attendee.

So...he took a drop?

Well, this explains the Detroit Lions record over the last twenty years, which will forever more be known and The Bong Era.

Let's not kid ourselves.

If that reporter was a man he'd drink a shot of that hot tub water instead of getting all hissy about the mere mention sperm.

Just think what he could have gotten if his body language was better!

Too bad. It would be cool if the Bears were beaten by a gay man.

Who the fuck is Skylar Diggins?

If you get more than four women on the ice with "temporary water weight gain" these things are bound to happen.

This would have been even better if Obama had appointed Hillary.

Not a D'Brickashaw to be found. WTF?