I love how obnoxious screeds like this are always 50% fantasizing your own oppression because it’s the only way even you can imagine your flaccid, poorly constructed diatribe having any weight.

Lol shut the fuck up dumbass boomer 

First, I wouldn’t trust the owner of the car at all

That’s the wurst, don’t be a brat.

Reports say the referee is recovering, though he is still struggling with “language difficulties.”

That’s an incredibly sudden and decisive knockout. He really Polished him off there.

What a sauerkraut 

Not the first time a kicker gets cut, but probably the first time a knife will come into play since Nagy is out of his mind.

I thought Deadspin didn’t do ‘Let’s Remember Some Guys’ articles on Sunday.

This is like Remembering A Guy in real time

Who is “Kelvin Cato the Elder”

In other words, a typical cat

The article explains it, that the water level isn’t sufficient to support her, but they’re just doing it to get her used to the water/process. Once she’s acclimated, they do raise the water level.

[buzzers in]

He was in poor health at 93 years old and Cinder took full advantage, gaining quite a bit of weight (as you can see!)

The answer was literally The Answer this time. 

Define “try.”

“How are you going to sit here and get all these people together and try to get the best talent for your league and pay them $27,000?...

Why pay QBs $500K? Spread the wealth around to the other players. It’s secondary league/offseason football. Nobody is watching the XFL because of the QBs who can’t make 3rd string NFL practice squads.

“You sayin’ there’s a room available?”  - J. Tomsula