Your hatred makes my nipples hard with schadenfreude.

To be fair, everyone’s hair goes through that puffy/shitty phase when we decide that the pixie cut truly is dead and we want long hair again.

*misses dead friend*

I’ve only ever heard it said by children.

You “unfurl” someone off? Classy.

Wait - Which season of True Detective? Or is this a “There is only one season of TD what are you talking about???” kinda thing?

What a thing to say...

DENNIS QUAID

I know it’s not Bill Paxton or Pullman. Is it a Bill? Argh!

This show is on at the gym whenever I’m there. Someone please tell me which actor this guy looks like. I can’t even remember the name of a movie he’s in to look it up myself.

(Meanwhile, Turkey loses access to Wikipedia.)

Also, things cannot be described as “best” anymore. They are now “most good”.

Just cuz.

That would be the joke.

God I wish I was thin.

You fucking dork.

#allgenitalsmatter

I got to a point where I could switch the colors at will...and it gave me a raging headache and made my eyes hurt.

I love that, by mentioning your soon-to-be age, you referenced one of the oldest jokes in Kevin Smith’s movies.

This way if they decide to delay the final season of GOT to early 2019...