I say those are jolly good fun! (adjusts monocle)

Speaking as someone whose parents had a modest sailboat for part of my childhood, I can confidently say that owning a boat is a colossal pain in the ass that, unless you can have the financial meant to pay people to maintain it full time when you’re not using it, loses its novelty real fucking quick.

The two happiest days of a boat owners life:

“An armed assailant entered NRA headquarters today and opened fire. Fortunately no one was hit by these shots. Unfortunately 114 people in the building were killed when everyone pulled out their guns and aimlessly returned fire. The gunman was able to escape in all the confusion and remains at large.”

“Employees at the NRA who are currently grumbling through an uncaffeinated morning might also be upset to hear that the organization found more than $1 million to spend on ads supporting Brett Kavanaugh earlier this year”

I’m really torn here. On one hand I desperately want Mueller to drop another round of indictments soon, especially on that that smug, chinless, fuck Don Jr.

Before he gives these interviews he really needs to start writing “Remember: Don’t admit to obstruction of justice when being recorded in interview!” on the palm of his hand in sharpie marker.

Gotta use those poppies for something. 

I’m tired of all the cynicism of towards Amazon’s new HQ. The benefits it’s going to bring are going to be amazing.

Except that fucking weasel Devin Nunes still managed to get re-elected. 

Good point. 

It would indeed be enlightening to say the least. 

I’m sure she has let Donald know that, if she doesn’t get her way here, she’d be more than willing to confirm to the public Stormy Daniels’ allegation that he has a tiny mushroom dick.

Like he has a choice.

2 to 1 says she caught Mira and Donald dry humping in the Lincoln bedroom.

If he plays his cards right uses the defense that the woman was indeed assaulted, but she’s confused him with the identity of the real assailant, he could be a lock for the next opening on the SCOTUS.

Please, anything but having to listen Collins give another 45 minute speech as to why she supports evil.

Remember you can’t spell Flake without spineless bastard.

To be fair, the oaties are pretty fucking awful. 

You’re goddamned right I’m going to believe it!