You won’t be so thrilled when they have a dog kissing a tree on Kiss Cam.

HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO EXPLAIN TO MY 5-YEAR-OLD SON THAT TWO GROWN MEN CAN’T GET DRUNK BECAUSE BUD LIGHT COSTS $10?

Parents, talk to your kids about Florida before someone else does.

I’m proud to note that Ariana Grande’s Clit recommended the above post.

Oh no! I hope she remembered to get the D first!

Oh, bless your heart, is that what you tell yourself?

No silly. My very clear argument is that the consequences of reckless sexual behavior are greater for women than for men. This is news to no one. If you’re spreading for 25 men with no rubbers what do you think is going to happen? So yes, it’s perfectly ok to shame that kind of irresponsible, abject stupidity.

Um, it’s because SHE’S the one that ended up pregnant. The 25 dudes? Not so much. In fact they’ll likely just go about living their lives. Oh and good luck to her trying to track down the father to help pay for the abortion or for help raising the kid.

Is this the aspirin that I'm supposed to put between my legs?

Umm, regardless of how subjective the entire pageant thing is, holy hell she is gorgeous.

If Judge Moore was my dad, I would be getting high as well.

I call everything gifs. Because I have no game. Your comment game is always on point, regardless.

I honestly wonder if he's got a for-real body dysmorphic disorder. Weight training is an important part of his job, but his job is to be an NFL safety, not an Olympia competitor. I mean, is he really looking at himself in the mirror and thinking he needs to get bigger?

To be fair, you're patting yourself and your fraternity on the back right now.

A four-year old gets shot and your response is "Your tears are quite tasty."

I don't understand why fried chicken is considered black food but I do think that it's a southern food and there is a high concentration of black people in the south. On a side note, that menu sounds delicious. I haven't had a lot of collard greens have had it the few times I've seen it on a menu and I love it. And…

At least they left off watermelon?

THON is a charity fundraising event promoted by Penn State throughout the northeast, that although marketed as "helping kids fight cancer", funnels 100% of solicited funds to a entity called Four Diamonds Fund that solely benefits Penn State's own medical center serving a limited region in central Pennsylvania. The…

WE ARE: RHYTHMIC SLAPPING.

They're still real to me, dammit.