“If you’ve ever felt a little guilt about handing your kids off to your parents or your in-laws too often...”

Dell Demps is doing it like me--absolutely nothing but watch tv and eat hamberders. --Prez Cheeto

You’re not really hustling if you’re not willing to work your scheme on family. --Bernie Madoff

Pop called a timeout in order to lecture the bats on their court spacing.

Occasionally the magic 8 ball provides the correct answer so no comparison.

A couple of Sundays ago, the San Diego Union-Tribune sports section’s cover story was about how tough things have been economically for the Padres ownership. It went on for 2 full pages. We are so fucked here.

No surprise here. Everyone knows that cycling is the dirtiest sport.

That pic of Ted Cruz made me laugh so hard that someone came by to see if I was all right.

The players should have been able to easily dodge those flying shoes. --Dubya

Who is going to buy his book? This is probably some sort of thing like Dianetics where members were required to buy the book. In this case, he’ll probably do something like “give” every Starbucks employee a copy and deduct the cost as compensations or some other tax dodge.

“...the types of tape that the smugglers used, usually mentioning that it was blue”

When my daughter was 12 I was seriously thinking that something was wrong with her and her friends because of the way they carried on. My wife advised me that this was just a stage, ride it out. Two years later my other daughter hit 12 and I was much better prepared for this temporary insanity.

This shit would work with Buccaneer fans, or any NFL fanbase for that matter but doing this in Tampa Bay? The Rays are at the bottom of the AL in attendance but I guess they’re going after Miami to hit rock bottom.

I attended a high school football game last year and watched a scrawny kid drop a 45 yard field goal. What’s the Bears’ phone number?

Any future expeditions of these KKKovington kids should be met by those Black Israelites who really understand how to put them on their heels.

...run over by a bus and then worn at a bass fishing tournament.

The other day a Coast Guard helicopter flew by with someone on a stretcher that they rig on top of one of the rails. That is what they do—save people.

The ultimate Cardinal post. Lift up your keyboard and drop it.

Is being a snowflake now considered part of “doing it the right way?”

I got up in the middle of the night to watch this match, only to have it ruined by this crap. This seems to be getting to be a regular thing now, even in a Grand Slam event.