“I am a person. I have a person-ality. I take things person-ally, because I’m person-able. You can’t do those things when you’re not a person. And I am a person.”

I said it before and I’ll say it again. A rich white man lives in a bubble of privilege transitions into a rich white woman living in a bubble of privilege. Her awful opinions aren’t surprising.

I’m beginning to think she’s not very intelligent.

Oh no was it Milo Yiannopoulos?

i want to make that much money per year for cuddling with baby jias

This is like complaining about a headline after the Superbowl. Literally. Spoilers don’t extend to sports.

Yes. I’m only allowed to complain about one thing per year, and this is my thing.

Mitt: “Donald, you can’t say out loud that the GOP hates all minorities, women and the disadvantaged. You can whisper it behind closed doors (make sure to confiscate any cellphone cameras!), but in public all you can do is put forward supposedly color-blind policies that just incidentally happen to negatively impact…

Ben Carson’s campaign wasn’t so much suspended as put to sleep at the vet’s

Anyone that obsessed with gay and bi sex- 110% guaranteed. I’ll take the under.

For a woman in comedy to be noticed she has to be exceptional. For a man? Dane Cook and Daniel Tosh would like a word with you.

We need more than just one night a week of her and John Oliver. The two of them could take down Trump by the end of March if we got them nightly.

#fingersinthebootybitch is more essential political discourse than anything said in any Republican debate. Or Democratic, for that matter.

His subtlety is appreciated among pointy-hatted intellectuals.

The entire GOP primary is a contest for the white supremacist vote.

The best burn in the segment is describing Kanye as a bored sociopath with a finger free anus.

I’m black and I think that’s a really absurd way of thinking about the push for diversity. It’s incredibly limiting to think that each person should only fight for the success of and draw attention to the struggles of the group they belong to.

I don’t. I think he’s good for us. I’ve taught high school for two decades and see “Idiocracy” in our future. Willful ignorance, myopia and a willingness to distort established truths (“What about all the Irish slaves?!”) have been growing by leaps and bounds in the last decade. It astonishes me. My only succor is the…

Less dorky than the original video.

Hello, new desktop wallpaper!