Madison is amazing and I really hope this is her breakthrough year!

Like those COMMUNIST robots in China. America! (Fuck yeah!)

They developed the app with a certain “profit” factor in mind to get you to mindlessly click on things until you opened up your wallet out of frustration. That’s mobile gaming 101. Removing the veil of pidgeys surrounding your apartment to see the world beyond is the last thing they want when it comes to their bottom…

God invented bootstraps so that you don’t have to give two shits about your fellow man. It’s the republican way.

I needed a good morning cringe. Thanks!

There’s also this: http://io9.gizmodo.com/5931333/read-c…

I love that art style!

It always reminds me that I haven’t watched Princess Bride in a while. I really should, Ted Cruz played a much more convincing villain back then.

Holy shit those people are awful (the RNC morons physically harassing these peaceful protesters, that is).

You could have made like... 50 avocado toasts in the time it took you to source and write this up. That’s time (and avocado toast) that you’ll never get back!

Is Madonna on safari with her son, or her latest lover? It’s hard to keep track.

“North American, informal” is just the unofficial way of saying Americans don’t give a fuck about what words mean. Also see: literally, ironic, peruse, effect/affect, irregardless, every other word in a tween’s vocabulary.

I think the serendipitous moment occurred when someone dropped their spaghetti casserole on the floor and the only thing available to pick it up was two slices of bread. And they’ve kept the recipe ever since!

What are you doing posting on the internet? There are pokemon out there to catch, god damn it!

4th of July means fireworks all night long now? Or will the police still come if you try to set off a bunch of explosive shit at 3am in a residential area? Get a clue, please.

I used to be the same way until the ol’ boyfriend wore me down, and now I can’t go back. It’s too easy, too foolproof, stays warm without fear of further overcooking, cleanup is a breeze, you never waste any rice that’s stuck to the bottom of the pot, and as a bonus I even get more stovetop space! Honestly, it’s kind…

The “sneeze as a blessing” tradition lives strong in my family. God save you if mom’s grilling you with a question you don’t want to answer and you sneeze instead. Must be true!

Don’t demonize salt! Sugar’s the real enemy! Leave my precious baby salt alone.

Now just chop some sweet onion into that and you’ve got something good.

That horny genie got denied pretty hard.