And now you’ll get to show your kids what 40-some years of tanning beds will do to their skin? (Seriously though, eczema really sucks and the fact that there’s usually no known direct cause to remedy makes it doubly so)

Sorry, but you’re wrong. Molina could walk down the street in either of the (non-middle eastern) countries portrayed here and not look out of place.

MTV, oh how wrong you were.

Also, ESPN does what SI does not.

Equality!

Even worse than I could have imagined. Bravo, Kimye.

King West? Or maybe throw the middle name in there and just go full King Kanye West.

Why is it that the first baby’s name wasn’t Knorth?

You forgot one important note:

Someone find George Lucas’ grown children and ask them this, please.

You can’t expect two macho men to “do exercise” together and not shower their sweaty, manly bodies afterwards.

Given his alleged history of unabashed violence, I somehow doubt he would outsource that particular task.

I propose America officially rename “day” to “mass shooting” instead of burying the news as has been the status quo for most of them. When there’s finally (maybe, hopefully) less than 1 a day, the policy can be re-assessed.

Kinda sounds a little bit like some starstruck starfucker got all doe-eyed when a celebrity wanted to bed her and now she’s got buyers remorse. Newsflash lady: all sorts of people have genital herpes, and people (celebrities included) continue mashing their genitals together regardless. And with Charlie Sheen’s story…

She’s protecting us from those nightmare expressions. It’s for our own good, really.

Ding ding ding. At least the last time there was a serious shake up, even the marketing folks took some time off too.

Yeah, except those folks in marketing, they can work double time.

A full 80% of the front page is ads or sponsored content articles right now. What’s going on over there? Is everything okay?

He should be paying THEM for all of the free publicity and fame he’s been getting.