I walked into that Queens movie theatre in 1986 a wide-eyed boy, and walked out with a mustache, a cigarette and a hole in my soul.

Same. I have one troll on Twitter who repeatedly made comments about my receding hairline in my profile photo, mostly of the having-banged-my-mom, can’t-#resist-my-dick-in-your-mouth teenage boy bullshit variety.

Sweet Christmas this song was the soundtrack of my early childhood. I just had one of those Anton Ego moments, damn.

“To hell with that shit, it’s Mungo!”

Nope, just a white-ish regular reader who came by to say that’s fukked up. That’s all.

And it’s “gettin’ the gubmin’ out they’re lives!” Isn’t that what they want?

Brave heroes that just want to get home to their wives and kids (in white suburbs), amirite?

I’m not designed to live around bigoted ignorant fucktards, which is why I don’t leave major cities (Dad, I hope this explains why I’m not showing up to Easter).

Thus I can only assume you’re allowed to be an activist and still keep your job if you’re an at-least-mediocre white quarterback. But ain’t none of them likely to say anything.

As someone going through a divorce right now and feeling like flying because of it, I fully support this idea. Let’s stop staying together for the kids, America. Then Cult45 can have his border wall...in Virginia.

I saw them last year in Philadelphia; the cats roamed the audience and my kids were squealing with delight the entire time. Let’s all make this happen, people.

Naishuller did the same trick with The Weeknd’s video for False Alarm:

And yet my parents can’t understand why I never visit.

Your ire is delicious. Give me more. More, I say.

“It’s considered acceptable for men and women to have meetings in hotel rooms,” she said, referencing the Harvey Weinstein story. “We’ve stripped away these cultural norms that were there to protect women,” she added.

Bumble stacks the deck with Instagram-model-looking “hot basic” women as your first 15 or so results, even though these women usually lie well outside your stated radius. They just come up because they’ve been judged as hot and thus they make the app look good - I’m not sure how “feminist” that really is.

The term “fanboys” has always been a pejorative so I’m not sure why they’re embracing it. The only good thing it’s ever done for us is...

As a Philadelphian and an American in 2018, I can say with confidence that this man is the hero I deserve.

Well I suppose Doug Jones gets a pass; he did just get there after all.

“They tell me what I want to hear. And as an old white man, if I want to hear it it’s right!”

- America (sadly)