He’s clearly receiving the Medal of Pawnor. So yes, the dog is real as evidence by the pile of dogshit behind it.

They can’t fire all of us!

I wonder if he knows you can bundle home & auto with State Farm...better call and check. 

That line is fucking ominous.

Send Jim the sugar-free kind.

There is way too much sports talk diluting this website’s content. Please stick to dogs.

“Stick to candy!”

I really enjoy their group chant: “We are Sounders! Bum-ba-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum!”

I see what you did there. Even though Burnenko specifically told me not to post GIFs anymore...

God damn it. Stick to sports and stop talking about the MLS!

May I suggest a new Deadspin mascott, Sticky; The Stick-to-Sports Stick. Sticky lives in Jim Spanfeller’s butt.

*chef's kiss*

rude of the email of the week to make me cry tbh.

Waited until the final second, then nailed the 55 yarder. Well played.

What else are you going to do?  Work?  

Been told to stick to women, huh?

Actually, I think “Classified” would be a better one for fun—

The eagle warned us.

I don’t know.

Maybe they thought if they brought a new life in they should take one out for the sake of the child’s future?