Have you ever had slightly frozen Topo? It is the most fucking refreshing thing in the world. 

It was my birthday tooooooo I didn’t see any news til late but I also considered this a great present! 

It’s basically this. While necrophilia isn’t illegal, the ways in which necrophiliacs obtain the bodies (corpse stealing) is. When you die, you basically become property of your next of kin ie the authorizing agent, typically your spouse. Therefore, anything that happens to your body must be authorized by the next of…

I went to a white elephant party and my contribution was a hand axe. Everyone kept fighting for it. 

Well, has he used it?

I think you need to start saying exactly what you said here: “I’d love to talk about Kara Walker or Tracy Emin, because I’m only vaguely aware of Donald Judd”. If they’re actually so well-versed in art, they’ll know Walker and Emin. If they don’t, use it as an opportunity to teach them. You know more than you think :)

SERIOUSLY, WHAT? 

The recipe I use calls for milk and goat cheese, but I skip the cheese and use straight sour cream. I soak the walnuts in milk for a couple of hours, add them to a blender with the sour cream, some sugar, a little bit of cinnamon, and whatever booze I have laying around (rum is a good one). I like making the cream on…

Huh. All this time I thought mincemeat pies had meat in them.

Maddog is more of my aesthetic on the metra. 

Is that also Trump’s excuse?

You’re thinking of a different shitty comedian, Tom Green.

I was best man over the summer, and I made it a point to always know when the groom needed a refill/more food. 

There’s also a Tisch before the ceremony. Basically you get the groom/bride’s favorite foods/booze and then go around the room roasting them or just telling funny stories. I was the best man, and we got the groom scotch and mini weiners. It was great.

I don’t know. I mean, congrats on paying off what I’m sure was a fucking awful burden. I’m not saying you didn’t work hard. It just seems ingenuous to claim that you basically starved and bled yourself in order to pay everything off, while also posting photos of you constantly on vacation. You get how it looks, right?

It stings!

If she was really so diligent with her money, and actually learned a lesson in saving, she wouldn’t have shilled out the $200 in taking shitty photos with those stupid balloons.

I just finished listening to a six-episode series on Last Podcast on the Left, covering the roots and rise of Mormonism. Mormons actually pride themselves in abusing medicaid and other gov assistance programs. They call it “bleeding the beast”.

Lol. Pretty much anyone with access to an iPhone can take a professional looking photo. Also, “stylist”? You mean you chose to wear a an outfit similar to that of a kardashian? And yeah I know Kim didn’t invent that haircut, but since she and Kylie started sporting it, pretty every influencer went from “long hair…

I’m one of those kids in the very special club who said “orgasm” instead of “organism” while reading in class.