Yeah, the slate article shows screengrabs from Colbert. 

I’m pretty sure that during the last bout of Chipotle making hundreds of people shit (more than usual), there was an article about how the writer would never stop eating Chipotle. I will admit that, I too, will never stop eating Chipotle. We’ve all got our addictions :(

A “llamacorn” sounds more like it is a llama and it’s long neck is made of corn stalk. 

I did it twice on the old navy pier ferris wheel

That’s a very attractive lesbian on that “purpose tour” shirt!

I fell in love with a park that I used to frequent with an ex. We would hang out there and get drunk. When I got married to my now-partner, that’s the place I chose for the ceremony. Sometimes the actual location beats the memories? 

Yes! Everyone already knows (well, at least those of us competent enough) that Polanski is a fucking child rapist with no remorse. That’s not gonna change, ever. Really, this “journalist” is the one people should be taking to task at the moment. What kind of fucking question was that?!

Absolutely my favorite part of the entire show. 

You mean a straight up graphite pencil? We do that in the funeral biz too

Kanye West did a round of surprise concerts at Chicago public high schools during the holidays when I was a freshman, back in like 04. When he performed at my high school, it happened to fall on my birthday (also the last day before winter break). Only kids on the honor roll were allowed to attend. The audio system at…

uhh that supervisor should’ve seen you taking your hoops off as a sign that shit was about to go down! that’s the only time I take mine off :)

I have an 8month old dober and although she’s finally chilling out a bit, she’s still such a hand full but I LOVE HER SO MUCH. I spend quite a lot of time training her but she just does not understand that she can’t go jumping on people (we also have a mini schnauzer so I think the dober just assumes she’s the same…

In Chicago (and I assume other cities) there is an annual Naked Bike Ride. Tons of people show up to it, they actually cover a pretty good distance across several neighborhoods. 

That’s terrifying. Now I hate dragonflies again. 

My older sister told me that my parents were walking past the county hospital, heard a baby crying in a dumpster next by, and that’s how I became part of the family. I believed this for a whole month.

Cara Delevigne

HOLY SHIT YES

OR you could’ve been the jerk that knocked her up and you’d hate your life now.

Holy crap these look great. I’m so sick of women’s underwear being made of nothing but polyester or whatever weird shit, I crave cotton, it’s so much more hygienic. I’ve been buying goodfellow men’s briefs from target but they give me wedgies so I’ll have to try these out. 

I hate thongs but my ass eats most underwear so I can answer this: if your butt is on the bigger side, the fabric on the back of your dress/skirt/shorts tends to hitch up. Even when you’re standing straight, I can notice a difference in length of the fabric from the front and back. When you sit, it somehow hitches…