“Was it hard to “do it”?” I whispered gently salivating into my children’s portioned French toast.

You’re still in timeout for the whole Fort Sumter fiasco and all the nonsense that inspired. You don’t get to have nice things yet.

TWENTY SIX?

Especially since the conventional wisdom for why the vast majority of movies have primarily male casts is that both men and women will watch movies about men, but men can’t watch movies about women without their testicles falling off.

I liked the original Ghostbusters! This one looks terrible. Look, they can try to copy it but there are just some fundamental differences between male and female actors. Like in the original, the men fought ghosts. Cool, right? Well in this one, the women are just fighting their urge for chocolate. ACK! Boring. Every…

“Whip smart” has replaced “quite bright” as the words men use to describe those women who (to their great surprise) are intelligent.

“Her heart was as black as her yoga pants, and just as unforgiving.”

This is among the common Vogue interview sins that doesn’t get talked about enough - the part where the interviewer wastes my time by shoehorning in a drawn-out anecdote to show how clever they are. No one’s reading the interview for you, Van Meter!

when many dwellers are presumably in Southampton

It’s a shame, you know? This judge had such a bright judiciary career in front of him, it is just a shame that this one little verdict will mess up his entire future.

Good tweets tonight! This one made me laugh.

I personally refer to him as a Scooter-skinned hatemuppet.

Ummmmm, the rehearsal dress is from, like, a totally important designer.

See, I’m the opposite, I love all the fashion except for the giant frilly bon-bon of a wedding dress. But everything else is gorgeous and luxurious without being pedestrian rich people fashion like you see at your typical American rich people wedding.

For some reason, I never thought of Trump as having an age. Like a dusty petrified Cheeto discovered lingering behind the litter box, it’s always been there and no one wants to be the one to touch it to get rid of it.