Fake corporate twitter accounts are my reason for living

I'm upset that I just found out they canceled Don't Trust the B- in Apt 23! Why would they give us such awesome and then take it away?!?!

I will watching ANYTHING that Krysten Ritter is even remotely involved with. She is so hot and charismatic and funny.

I think that was Grandpappy for "Thanks. I love you too."

I've heard of a one-armed paper hanger... "busier than a one armed paper hanger." But left armed, hmm... not as busy as a one armed one, but still kinda busy?

Also, here is an unrelated gif of a duck being vacuumed:

This is my 93 year old grandma and her 95 year old boyfriend.
My grandma raised me and would do anything for me, sometimes to my owm detriment. I'm her favorite and it has caused my cousins to literally hate me. I never asked to be the favorite but that's just how life turned out. Honestly, I don't think they could…

My cat does the same thing. The stalking AND the talking. She won't shut up. Although yesterday I was feeling cold and crappy and out of it and she climbed onto my boobs while I was watching something on the computer and proceeded to be a warm ball of purrs.

Desmond doesn't even know where he is half the time, how could he seriously be plotting my destruction?!

Look at that vicious, undomesticated killer! Seriously, my kitties like to think they are still wild beasts. Look at this heathen.

This giant baby?

Okay but, you know, my cat even waits for me outside the bathroom. He CAN'T get enough of me, for real.

The Dunlora estate has been in Eliza's family for generations, owned by descendants of William S. Dabney, who inherited the estate from his brother-in-law Samuel Carr, Thomas Jefferson's nephew by Jefferson's sister Martha.

You would love DAS KAPITAL!

Like "childfree" women, moms that are assholes would have been assholes without children too. They just channel their assholishness in different ways after they have kids. The mommy wars bullshit is all around disheartening and annoying.

Word. I wrote almost the same thing before reading this. So you're throwing a gigantic expensive party for yourself to celebrate your coupledom, and we're supposed to shell out to offset those costs? Oh hell no.

Won't you take me to
Fungus Town?

A friend of mine once got an unsolicited dick pic from a dude she was boning at the time. The best part? Boyfriend sent her a picture of his flacid penis.

I'LL TAKE CARE OF YOU GINGER SEAL!!!