alfonsopoopoofattyiii
Terminator vs Roomba
alfonsopoopoofattyiii

Ugh, me too! I was so excited to see this, then sad that it’s only in SF and NYC. I need this so bad. As an early 30 all my friends are either having babies or have moved away, I have one close friend but she lives almost 2 hours away and works crazy long hours. My boyfriend and BF of 12 years recently broke up with

You are a treasure. Never change.

Embedded or linked I would’ve seen it anyhow. Can’t resist the link, must click, almost always regret...

Holy shit why did I click that link whyyyy

This one, this had me laughing harder than 90% of the list above

Oh Jesus, I just discovered the Liver Sausage Pineapple thanks to that 3rd link. I'll never be able to eat again.

Me too, it’s so bad that when I smile people will ask me why I am smiling in a concerned voice. I think they assume I’m plotting world domination or something when I’m walking around smiling (I am)

That also means all cats look like me. No wonder I love them so...

Images like this are what the Internet was invented for.

My mother and I have the same kind of weird open relationship. Like a decade ago she had a sex dream about her boss’ complete fucking loser of a teenage son. I still bring it up anytime she even remotely criticizes my boyfriend “ well you’re right, he doesn’t hold a candle to Steve’s son and his magic dick”

The loss of pissing contest and bco makes me sadder than the breakup 😞

Thank you, he is a weaseldick, I’m still kind of pissed (okay, significantly more than kind of) but in the end it’s probably for the best.

God damn it. I was recently broken up with via text after 12 years, I thought for sure that was the worst and I could finally win one of the pissing contests when a breakup themed one came up. No, I should know by now, there's always a bigger asshole out there.

I was recently broken up with via text after 12 years together. So, I'd say a lot fucking less than that is the acceptable line?

My boyfriend pronounced maniacal “maniac-el” once like eight years ago, and it is literally the only way I will ever pronounce that word around him now. Like I go out of my way to work it into conversations. I am a horrible girlfriend.

I mean lets just go crazy. Frederick? North Montgomery County. Hagerstown? North Frederick. Pennsylvania can just be North Maryland.

I really want one of them to live in Gaithersburg, just so I can scream at the television whenever they show her house/neighborhood “NORTH POTOMAC IS NOT REAL!!!”

that’s pretty much the only thing I took away from the story as well. I would love to pay $803, that’s less than half of what I currently pay and I am in one of the cheapest apartments in my neighborhood. In fact, in the five years I’ve lived in this apartment I have already been priced out of this neighborhood and

I guess he’s a “relationship opportunist” too.