this comment is my everything.

My entire life has been a "tone" argument with my mother. Finally at 32 I'm turning the corner on convincing her my voice is just naturally bitchy, it took her hearing me being cheerful/friendly to customers at work to realize a happy tone sounds incredibly fake when coming out of my mouth.

eh, it happens to the best of us!

I wish I could say the same, but when I was 5 or 6 I had a bad 4th of July cookout burger and the resulting explosive diarrhea shut down our community pool for the rest of the day.

I am immediately suspicious of anyone who prefers outdoor seating. It's the worst, and I can't be friends with them. You go ahead and eat outside like an animal, I'll be relaxing in my climate controlled, bug-free booth.

Wat?? I live in charleston and have to walk past approximately 9000 tours on my way to and from work every day. I've heard some stupid shit in my time, but that is just, wow.

holy shit, I would say we are long lost siblings except I know my father is too fucking cheap to ever take anyone to Disney World. My mother met my father when he was separated and in the process of getting a divorce. His "horrible" wife kept holding up the divorce and refusing to meet with lawyers and sign papers,…

-God (@thelord69)

I would also like to hire her. Last summer some guy told me "it's not that bad" and handed me a pamphlet on healing your depression through Jesus when I was walking home. I was speechless. I need her on speed dial. If time travel is ever invented THAT is the moment I am going back to, so I can tell that fucker off and…

I also love your wife.

I love where she says Lindsey Graham has become Obama's right hand man. The fuck? Lindsey Graham is probably the only person in SC more hysterical and anti-Obama than she is.

this is why we can't have nice things Charleston/South Carolina/America.

I finally broke that addiction a few months ago, but the app knows I'm ignoring it. I get at least 6 "come see the new stonecutters" "someone reported crime in your town" messages a day. Must. Resist.

Yes! also, when it's super crowded why do people leave like 10 feet between them and the next person on line?!!?? If you do that I will stand sodamnclosetoyou

I was hoping by now they had invented some kind of wedding by proxy deal, where no one actually has to be present. My proposal kind of hinged on that.

this is my ultimate nightmare. With a feral rescue who trusts only me and no one else in the world, if she ever got out she would just keep running in terror and be gone forever. She is my first cat, I didn't really know anyone with cats when I took her home so I didn't have anyone to tell me "cats are hide-y dicks…

There are some people out there who won't understand why someone spent hours making a car for a wiener dog to wear.

Mind. Blown.