You are the idiot that is relying on Danny Woodhead. Your team was fucked from the start.

Her bloodline is only half Aryan.

WotcherHarry

If I remember correctly the Warriors choked away a 3-1 lead. They may be the chokingest team

Fortunately the Japanese have us covered when it comes to making dinosaurs fucking awesome.

nice.

Yeah, humorous sarcasm had a good run for the past several thousand years, but it’s certainly over and done with now. Strong take.

I can shit into a bag, drunk or not. Never done it, but I’m confident in my abilities. I’m not going to run home and try it out or anything, but alls I’m saying is, you need a bag filled with some shit, I can do it for you. Ziploc, target bag, one of those gift bags specifically for wine bottles, I’ll hit the bottom…

He is really Samoan ‘em down.

“I had a bag of fritos, they were texas grilled fritos. These fritos had grill marks on them. Hell yeah, reminds me of summer, when we used to fire up the barbeque and throw down some fritos. I can still see my dad with the apron on. Better flip that frito, dad, you know how I like it.“- Mitch Hedberg

Apple products are for old people and idiots.

You’re my gyro

Sounds like he thought he was Reuben Hood.

Because they’re fucking awesome, that’s why.

The Straight Line Truthers have arrived.

If planning and executing a week of flavorful, healthy meals makes one an Adequate Man, I’m obviously floundering somewhere between dust bunny and weaponized fuck up on the male adequacy scale.

“I can’t wait to get off the stage, ‘cause I’ve got a roll of LifeSavers in my pocket... and pineapple is next!” - Mitch Hedberg

“Stop calling people names, fuckface.” — You

same ppl think muslims are crazy when the prophet is drawn in satire. They really do have so much in common.

I’ll be on the lookout for Mr. Baseball. There’s not a ton of delving required for the boys are back in town, and I cannot adequately explain why I love Elmer’s Glue’s twitter account so much so that recommendation may have been a mistake.