I’ve been married 16 years and also get screamed at every time I try to get my wife to spread her legs.

I think the impact knocked a few vowels out of his name.

a) This and Wimbledon are the biggest/only running stories in sports this week; we’re consequently covering both with a microscope.

“It’s just hard to believe the dog was nasty when she took Lamby to every green room with her when Girls was still a thing 4 years ago.”

He blew a .00 or, as John Daly calls it, .3 under par.

I really hope Iannetta is OK.

If there’s a god, this means that the Mets’ Brief Ryan Howard Experiment is just starting...

When I was in middle school and got the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue my parents thought I was the reincarnation of Fred Merkle.

I’d love to see that bratty little pissant try to post up Lavar Ball and see how much he likes basketball then.

I suggested Rob Manfred Is A Fucking Terrorist for the headline but Redford is his own man.

Late last year I was sitting at a bar in the Jacksonville airport. An old man sat down on the stool next to me, and proclaimed/asked, “I don’t drink, can I get a diet coke?” I was down a few large beers at the time and gave into him wanting to strike up a conversation. ESPN was on TV, and he kept interjecting with…

Thank god. For a while there I thought I was being racist for thinking all the winners looked alike.

Tune in to ESPN at 8 PM EST on Saturday to see who gets his room in the Nissan® Heisman House!

Everyone else in the country: Oh, awesome, a debate over whether New England or Seattle has the best fans! This isn’t at all unbearable!

I’m a pretty casual baseball fan and I thought the sequence was just fine and filled with drama.

i blame video game, the walking dead, etc. used to be a guy would gently lay the ball in the cup, say the pledge of allegiance, and shake hands with the opposing coach before hustling back “on d”. Now Glenn is dead. Rims are bleeding. It is madness, this culture of dunking.

Won’t somebody think of the children?!?!?

“The reason I bring all this up,” Pitino says, “is those girls were hot enough to melt steel beams! Hooah!”