OMG please internet, help me out here, i need this.

Randy Boehning.

I felt so good about my BJ abilities after watching that shit festival

beef caaaaaake

want to climb down into the subway tunnels and live out the rest of my life as a mole person

What is an Alice Eve

dyingggg

They showed this on CBC when I was getting ready for work and even in my uncaffeinated state I was cringing. Like, a lot.

jdfkajdfskvkmfd;lvgjfd;lk;lbvmf’lb m barfffff

oh god, you’re totally right. i’d rather be alone forever.

I’d honestly have a hard time choosing. Ideally I’d run away with Zayn.

What did I do wrong in life that I don’t have Harry Styles and Calvin Harris fighting over me? All I have is a boomerang ex with a drinking problem and a smoker’s cough and a date with an overly keen South African that I really want to cancel.

Her hair is always so perfect.

this is such a good condescending british gif

They’re contractions that cause you to randomly shout lyrics to songs by either Toni Braxton or Taylor Hicks.

My Posh British People sixth sense* is telling me that this baby is COMING, YO. Like, SOON. Like, THIS WEEK.

I’m diggin the shaved head tbh

There’s a five year age gap between us (I’m 27, he’s 32) and this is one of the rare instances I think it actually makes a real difference.

How is babby formed

My dad called me to talk about Daredevil. My dad is the least talkative man in the world. I will assume this means it’s quite good.