If only there was existing Japanese technology.

+two bags of grass, seventy-five pellets of mescaline, five sheets of high powered blotter acid, a salt shaker half full of cocaine, and a whole galaxy of multi-colored uppers, downers, screamers, laughers... and also a quart of tequila, a quart of rum, a case of Budweiser, a pint of raw ether and two dozen amyls.

“Holy Jesus! What are these goddamn animals?"

“...somewhere around Barstow...”

He’s continuing the proud family tradition of “Look, I didn’t actually see what you’re talking about...”

Now how many times have I told you not to call here and INTERRUPT my kung fu!?!

From the title on down, this article is pure poetry. 

the Dora Milaje School for Wishing a Motherfucker Would.

I dunno, it worked for Kansas.

Pardon me, but my understanding is that mid-Atlantic NFL teams are not allowed to retool their offenses when their starting quarterbacks get injured.

Looks like he’s trying to do a Jim Carrey impression.

Y’all making me feel old...

Don’t worry if you get stuck in the tunnel Elon will personally order his henchmen to build a robot tunnel submarine retrieval pod which will reach you in approximately three to four weeks.

Pobody’s nerfect!

Washington management is so incompetent they can't get even a Simpsons quote right.

Suns GM: “You know, I think Memphis will crack and include Dillon Brooks at any minute.”