When I was in sixth grade, I was singled out by the kids in my class for bullying, on the grounds that I wore Reebok sneakers matched with Nike socks. It stopped when one of the kids reached down to try and pull up my pants and see what my socks looked like, only for me to try and kick him in the face.

What do you get when your roster depletes?

This just in: Chicago-suburban Bears fan passes away, has remains brought to Al’s on Taylor to be ground up and formed into series of spheres, because “dat Dan BARN-STINE said I’ll always be a Bears meatball and who’s laffin’ now?”

Looks like we’re gonna have another player retire at half time.

Adrian Peterson told reporters, “That was a new one for me. It was different.”

Samesies.

What percentage of Pittsburgh sports radio call ins begin with “I am not a racist.”

What percentage of Pittsburgh sports radio call ins begin with “I am not a racist.” 

I can’t wait tilde next time they meet

+1 Go Time!

You think you’re better than me?!

Mandelbaum! Mandelbaum!

We’ll be getting smaller HOF classes in a few years when these guys are dead within two years of retiring thanks to advanced CTE. You see, dead people don’t generally attend ceremonies.

“...because she had a cash-only job as a twerk technician.”

24. Gruesomely losing your fingers in a fireworks accident, futilely hailing a cab to get to the ER because you have no fingers, and then getting hit by a bus. 

There are a lot of people who direct bigoted hate towards innocent people on the internet. It’s not most people, but it’s also far more than a tiny handful. Many know they are disgusting garbage creatures, and revel in the pain they cause. Sadists. But some actually think they’re the good guys and they’re being…

ford timelord fuckin’ rocks

Maybe someone could check his Collar ID.