I already want to know what’s up with the cassava melon. But seeing as it belongs to Frank Reynolds and has a circle drawn on it I think I can figure it out.

as entertaining as watching an feather-haired old man get a handjob. 

“But he’s done nothing in his young career but show he’s worth building an offense around”

To maintain proficiency: I use my issued sidearm (law enforcement) at the range weekly if not daily. I have an issued rifle, but it does not leave the armory after shift (it is not a ‘take home’ weapon). That one, I will only fire 4 times a year during qualifications ( unless something goes very very wrong). Likewise,…

The most prevailing ‘product’ sold with ARs is not the weapon itself, or the accessories, but the story. The story that somehow, a group of scrappy rebels can stand up and defend freedom against anything with their guts, gumption, know-how, and a Black Rifle.

It does sound weird. To someone who lives in a country where basically you’ll probably never see a gun in real life unless it’s on a police officer or on a farm, it’s incredibly weird.

Prepare to be pissed, racists.

Quick fun point before I go into my rant: 69% of Americans do not own a firearm, despite there easily being 50-60 million MORE firearms in the country than there are actual people living in it.

“I’m not living without guns!”

This reaction is completely hysterical and irrational.  If your reaction to the loss of a rifle is violent insurrection, that’s not exactly a solid argument to let you keep your firearm.  

I’m glad you brought up Big Boi because that his fur coat was the real Superbowl MVP.

Big Boi’s fur coat was the true winner of the Super Bowl

Strategic kitten reserves are a staple of any good party.

The Super Bowl was so boring that people at the party didn't even stop talking through the commercials. The hosts had locked away their kittens but let them out at halftime to entertain us because the game sure wasn't getting the job done. 

Every team that loses a Super Bowl to the Patriots should be relegated to Canadian football until there are no NFL teams left except the Patriots and we can finally destroy the NFL for good. God damn these losers straight to hell.

FUCK. Just, GODDAMNIT. The best regular season i have ever seen, the upsets, the Pat Mahomes beauty, the beautiful beautiful offenses, i felt like i was being beaten with a sledgehammer called NOT TODAY, KIDDO WE OLD SCHOOL PEOPLE STILL REIGN SUPREME. AWFUL. Trent Dilfer was probably masturbating furiously that entire…

Fun Fact: in the halftime show, Big Boi rode a Cadillac down the field for more yards than the Rams had in the entire first half.

As a Lions fan I can take solace in the fact that we scored as many touchdowns in the Super Bowl as the Rams.

Not anymore. You must be old. Not that I remember Harry Caray pushing Falstaff or anything. When he was calling games for the White Sox.

Having the wrong people laugh at his comedy for the wrong reasons is a perpetual problem for Chappelle, but this time the blame is on him.