I honest to God have no idea who you’re arguing with right now.

That chicken tender at LJS was amazing, and I’ve eaten a fair few of them in my lifetime, but the fish planks were barely a step up from school lunch to the point where for the longest time I thought I just didn’t like fried fish.

Yes, grown-ups should spend their time on worthwhile endeavors, like reading internet articles about things they have no interest in and making snide comments about others for enjoying them

Man, even the Broncos are Elway is crying.

I respect your commitment to big boy accuracy

Man, even the Broncos are crying. 

You have 3 buildings that meet the measurements required to be labeled a skyscraper.  I researched this to make sure of the accuracy, because last time I drove through I thought I saw 4 tall buildings, but only 3 are big boys.  

Having this come out right after Luck’s announcement is cruel and unusual punishment.

As much as I want Jacoby to succeed ( former Patriots QB, after all ), seeing those tweets has made me believe that Indiana has already ruined him, and by the end of the season he’ll be the league’s first QB with Alzheimer’s. 

The residents of this 3 building having, 4 block fucking town screamed and booed at someone who, until that point, seemed to be one of the least booable people in the entire league. The guy that was set up to be hurt by men who were unqualified to build a team around him. It’s a shame and a relief that it came to this.

Not afflicted with the small bone?  Nick Foles. 

Andrew Luck 2012: *Takes a sack* Great job, man. Insane hustle. You really got me.

Andrew Luck 2019: You even just look at the ceiling and wish you could stop existing? Like, not die, but just POOF and cease being altogether. Maybe it’s nothing but motionless, soundless black. Complete emptiness. Nothingness. But it’s…

Last night 60 Minutes had a story about Tim Green, ex-NFLer and writer who’s battling ALS, and it was a little infuriating to see him say the cheers from the fans 20 or 30 years ago make it worth losing 20 years of his life now. He’s obviously free to believe whatever he wants, but it does so much damage to other…

God, that line at the end. Crying at my desk. Thank you for writing and publishing this.

These are easier than dumplings and gyoza and tortellini and empanadas, and all other food that induces folding, wrapping and crimping fears, if that helps inspire you to to give it a go. Start to finish it was about an hour’s worth of work. 

Now this is what Jurassic World should’ve been

So, I saw the title of this movie and clicked the link (because of course I did), and as the page was loading up I thought to myself “No, this can’t possibly be a movie about a priest either fighting or becoming a dinosaur, even for this column that’s absurd, the ‘veloci-’ part of the title is probably just because…

• 1 egg, beaten
  -how I feel after reading the steps required to achieve this tasty morsel
  -Can’t I just pay at least one loyal, trustworthy, hard working Takeout reader to make a bunch of Lumpia Shanghai and ship them my way?

Superman by Goldfinger was so ubiquitous to Tony Hawk in my house hold that almost a decade later I was playing Fallout 3 on 360 with my custom music pumping though and Superman came on and my mother asked if I was some kind of weird mutant skateboarding, as all that was on screen was the deathclaw paw weapon.