“the patties were burnt and the burger was of very poor quality.”

the ball came spinning out counterclockwise because of the Oriolis Effect

He can always re-establish himself next year, like Wells Fargo did.

No way, I throw like a Major Leaguer!  Who’s unsatisfactory in PE now!

I would say that this is some Angels In The Outfield shit, but the existence of this Orioles team actually negates the idea of God

It’s so dumb, people are still clicking on them! 

Good lord this guy can't even take a strong stand on the hot dog question

This is a terrible answer.

One more reason not to like this guy.

A team spokesperson noted that, for the Cardinals this season, Minegar’s was but the first of many wasted drives.

Kaare Vedvik? Daniel Carlson? The Vikings know they don’t have to pick actual vikings, right?

If this somehow doesn’t work out, the Vikings might just be better off skipping that position entirely and becoming the team that always goes for it on fourth down.

I thought it was a real treatment procedure that’s only available to millionaires, but turns out it’s just another scam like the ones pushed by Goop or Oprah. Thank you for this.

Well, for one: he stands for the national anthem. You hippie!

But we’re confident that he’s going to be a huge factor for the Raiders for years to come.

I kinda assumed as much when the story broke, but it seems from the Ringer article the foot thing isn’t Brown’s fault and instead is pretty blatant negligence from whoever was running his therapy. 

The ringer goes into a good explanation of what happened to his little piggies.

And I’ve got a feeling he would play with no helmet — that’s how much he loves to play.

How does it not make sense? It’s pretty straightforward. I suspect you actually *don’t* know what all those words mean.

50th Anniversary of The Miracle Mets. Just Sayin.