I suffer from depression and I absolutely understand this thought. However, this could be also a sign that if people so immensely talented struggle with their own worth, maybe when “normal schmucks” consider themselves worthless, it’s depressive negative thinking and not objective truth.

A person far more talented than you.

Fuck. I’m still torn up by this. His songs and albums often ended on an ambiguous balance between hope and futility (think of something like The Wild Kindness), but I always read for hope and possible escape from the darkness, especially on the Purple Mountains album. I didn’t realize how much I’ve listened to his…

Fuck you. Fuck off.

Go fuck yourself, you heartless piece of shit.

I think this level of insight and frankly pain (beautifully articulated pain) is reserved only for your team, but if it was possible to reproduce it for all teams, I’m on board.

I felt that way after reading the Jets one, then the Falcons one, and now this one. Those are my top three, with the Giants and Raiders rounding out the top five. He’s just building on each column and reaching new milestones of hate and incisive hilarity.

Poetry.  Matt, just poetry.

The goddamn FedEx Field poet laureate.

Ok Matt may have the best submission I’ve ever seen.

A bunch of years back I met and shook hands with Donald Trump in a room of about 25 people. At the time I just thought of him as a big doofus... my missed face-punching opportunity haunts me to this day.

Even if the 99 lives cheat code worked for WASH QB’s, they would still have to sign someone off the scrap heap in December.

Father of the year.

Dodged a bullet when I was 7 and came home from a trip to the store with my mom excited to show my dad a Mark Rypien jersey I bought with my birthday money. He asked why the hell I’d buy a Rypien jersey, I told him that they won the Super Bowl so they’re my favorite team and he explained that bandwagoning was dumb,…

Cool but his security is close to him and not punching him. I mean, he’s around other humans. Why aren’t they punching him???

I got to hang out with the Skins after a game in Oakland five years ago (a friend of a friend was catering their dinner) and my buddy tried to go talk to Snyder. He barely took three steps toward the guy before security was on him. Couldn’t get within 15 feet, got kicked out. He was even planning on being polite!

The fact that someone hasn’t punched Danny Boy in the face by now seems like a miss. Like, if you’re near him, just punch him. Seems pretty straightforward.

After spending a week in Dewey Beach, DE with suspect weather, I’m convinced that Redskins fans make up about 93% of the U.S. sweat pants market.