Until you do really any single thing that doesn’t come across as disingenuous or for appearances, go fuck yourself, Ivanka.

Normally I’m not cool with holding women responsible for male behaviour. But in this case? #Complicit.

The gallon of laxative my husband had to drink before his convinced me he had expelled a poop demon from his ass, I can only imagine what Trump’s pre-colonoscopy shits would be like.

I know Mueller’s rep is one of total professionalism. But I can’t help thinking about him asking Trump a question...and Trump blurting out his usual wheelbarrow of verbal compost. And Mueller looks hard at him for a moment and says “What the fuck are you talking about?”

THIS! I can’t believe she wants a marriage where she nagged someone into marrying her! I think she’s a garbage person but she should want more for herself.

She also pressured him to propose via Twitter in 2015, after the gay marriage ruling!

What would the bombshell even be at this point? It would have to be both incredibly, undeniably treasonous and also something they consider morally appalling. I seriously can not imagine a liking senario that would make them turn.  

If you’re feeling “badgered” to propose after five years of dating, you were never going to propose. There’s nothing wrong with not wanting to get married to someone or to anyone ever but cut marriage-minded folk loose.

I’m going to assume that given he was able to tolerate being in a relationship with her for half a decade he’s as insufferable as she is.

I can’t tell if Jack intentionally led Lena on and messed with her head “as a joke” or everything was same old, same old, and she started reading more into things because of wishful thinking.

I mean, sweating and shitting himself are already scheduled into his day, so how is this different?

I suspect the majority of Americans either support impeachment at this point or at least the ongoing investigation. However, I fear that without a giant bombshell that makes him a disgrace to his base, impeachment proceedings will just turn him into a martyr. The 30% of hardcore Trump supporters that read Breitbart…

i’m calling a foul...

Unfortunately it won’t be televised like the Clinton one, because Mueller is using it for actual investigative reasons and not political grandstanding like Kenneth Starr was doing.

He’s no doubt got a massive heart attack brewing. His eating habits and no exercise have guaranteed that, and his stress levels are thru the roof now that he does nothing but watch TV and scream at people.

However it happens, I’m betting it’s going to be KFC-related...

There are many Republicans whose deaths I will celebrate. Trump, his adult sons, Pence, Ryan, McConnell, Thomas, Gorsuch, King, Grassley, Rubio, Cruz...

next morning on FOX and Friends: “Isn’t being a traitor actually being a patriot since the Hillary-Obama muslim lesbian shadow state took over the country? I’m just sayin’, folks...”

I have to say it:

Special Counsel Robert Mueller is likely to try and interview Trump, a nightmare scenario for the president’s legal team considering his tendency to lie and forget basic English language vocabulary.