This might be the best article image ever.

She is ill.

Megalomania, refusing to listen to testimony from people she finds annoying, keen eye for social media, fondness for filming ... Sounds like she was just trying to get her own show.

Well, here I always thought the wings were the most essential part of an aircraft, but I guess this little piece of magic tops all that nonsense.

I can beat all of these with an actual sex act that has happened.

As the father of a newborn daughter. I would do anything to protect my child from harm and I would never betray her trust. I see my animals as my children and protect them as such. I look at other people's animals as their children and treat them as such. If that dog was a child CPS would take that animal away in a…

Agreed.

Depends. Are you Tom Hanks, DDL, Chris Pratt or Martha Stewart? If so, great idea — your hugs are probably magic. If not, pump your breaks.

I don't consciously stop making any sort of friendship with anyone. I'm just in my 30's with a steady job and a long term relationship. I'm not out much at all and when I do socialize it tends to be with people from my already established group of friends.

Making "friends" is difficult enough.

will you be my friend? i need to reach my gawker-mandated quota.

Step 2: Act like a normal, decent human being.

You don't MAKE it happen.

This cracked me the fuk up

Dear All People,

A good friend of mine was outside smoking, sitting on her back patio that, at the time, had no lights. As she sat there, she felt something furry jump up beside her and she began to pet it, assuming it was her cat and not really paying much attention as Mr Kitty did this often. It wasn't until she looked down that she…

They'd probably try to treat it with rhino horn or tiger penis or some similar bullshit.

You know what else has health benefits? Chicken soup. Much safer to make.

5 secs....10 is awkwardly too long...

It's why pirates wore eye patches.