Related: among my biggest pet peeves are the women who have really long hair, then get a haircut of a few inches and cry "Oh my god, it's SO SHORT! I HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAATE IT! WHY DID YOU CUT SO MUCH OFF!?!?!?!"

Yup. And if it ever gets horribly ratty (camping trip or something), you get it completely soaking wet, work in your best moisturizing conditioner, and detangle by hand, a little at a time, starting from the ends. Rinse and repeat until it's to a point where you can introduce a comb. This is not rocket science,…

For what must be the hundredth time in my life, I say "Fuck that dumb bitch's proclamations".

Having served in an Army infantry company during 2 separate year-long combat deployments, I am a little puzzled by the push for women to get into these combat roles. Combat sucks. You don't want to be there. I don't know anyone who wanted to be there.

THESE ARE ALL WONDERFUL!

And our dog never scratched my Dad's car. That was all me.

Hes pretty hideous but ill deal with it.

You are correct: do not buy a dog. ADOPT a dog. As for kids, eh, who needs 'em?

Look at the wittle face. I just want to squeeze it, and smoosh it, and cuddle it, and.... I mean, cute dog bro.

ADOPT a dog, give it a home, and love it forever. This is the proper solution. Also, meet my newest rescue, Captain Button.

Two entire pineapples??? My mouth and tongue are basically covered in infected taste buds and canker sores just hearing about that.

Aw. You poor thing.

Unfortunately, religious folk generally don't care much for science.

Just nobody tell Fox News that the commemorative quote on the 9/11 memorial is about two gay terrorists ... or, if you do, give me time to heat up some popcorn first.

I approve of the quote. Most viewers will understand it to be a kind memorial to the victims, and there's a darker - but important - message for those who are more informed. We should never forget the devastating consequences of mixing fundamentalist religion with desperation.

Yeah, the system will be inherently classist until legal representation becomes accessible and affordable.

I once met a dude from Boston at a music festival who, after sharing a joint with me and my friends and learning we were from Canada, said "Canadian girls are the tits!"

Yes we are, friend. Yes we are.

I am pretty sure what I did was illegal, but hopefully the statute of limitations has expired. I dated an terrible person, when I became pregnant, he told me that he didn't want to hear about it. When I broke up with him he wrote me a long letter detailing all the reasons I should kill myself. He would call, text,…

I'm not the most eloquent person, but I'm always eager to share two tales from my time working at Wendy's.