You’re forgetting the other all too important aspect of a modern and just society: we innocent until proven guilty.

This actually isn’t completely accurate. The Contract Clause was mainly implemented to prevent states from nullifying the contracts (usually of powerful individuals) via legislation, a practice known as “private relief.” Also, prior to the ratification of the Constitution (i.e. under the Articles of Confederation)…

Fun fact: At Yankee games there is a designated part of each game where fans stand up, say “peace be with you” to all the people around them, and discuss how much they paid for their respective tickets.

Don’t die, bro. You’ve got this.

wait...was the dude doin your girl in your place and poopin in your bathroom?

A dog will literally walk for miles just to get some strange, even if he has a partner at home.

The U.S. will send 48 rowers to Rio, they will be as forewarned and forearmed as the federation can make them

Count the motherfucking clauses in that sentence. Forget the horrifying shit show that was the topic, any editor who let that damn clusterfuck out the door should be fired on the spot for that alone.

Last Friday I had four Six Point Resin double IPAs and an order of naan and rogan josh from the nearby Indian joint.

that’s the most millenial hipster shit i have ever heard

“With A Stranger’s Ashes, A New Kind Of Millennial Party.”

This was the night Molly Ringwald would learn how cruel show biz could be: after the rest of the Brat Pack told her this was a costume party, she arrived dressed as a panda. They made her stand right up front for the picture. Underneath that enormous fuzzy head she’s crying.

I paid 18 bucks for taco bell last week

The only winning move is not to play.

“Exactly. My wife has been watching, spell-bound, while I look up occasionally from over my book. I then fix supper, but she is not interested in pot roast and potatoes, choosing to fix her appetite with something the kids calls kale? 8:30 hits and I’m ready to turn in for the night. So I get in my jams and watch, I…

this comment is an extremely artful humblebrag. bravo, sir.

+1 dollar

Oh, great. Another Duke hater on Deadspin.

2009 called. it said shut the fuck up.

They don’t. After listening to Undisclosed, I’ll tell you I certainly don’t have all the answers, and they don’t either. I was not so much convinced of Adnan’s innocence after listening as I was convinced that, even if guilty, he should not have been convicted on the strength of the evidence presented.