This is because Rob Ryan’s playbook consists of 12 stick figures stabbing a quarterback to death. But at least the man had a PHILOSOPHY, dammit.

So says the guy who misused both "weeks" and "then."

Found on ebay:

2015 USAF Ghostrider Gunship
One of a kind
Babied...never tracked or raced...never wintered.
New wings and recently replaced OEM flight crew buckets.
$50 million OBO.
No tire kickers, no mavericks.

I’m...I’m kidding. I’ve never even talked to a woman.

Or maybe he felt that it was insulting to share an award with a vapid reality tv star who has literally never done anything for anyone else.

Only marginally better than the time Anakin Skywalker opened a Montessori school.

Yeah. Weird that teams who take QBs high in the first round don’t already have a future Hall of Famer who never gets hurt.

Head coach Pete Carroll said that Lockette will miss the rest of this season, but that he doesn’t know if the injury is career ending.

He’s a black belt in Hulk Smash.

For when the One Sports Network comes

Shit, I better go check. Don’t want to accidentally plagiarize!

“Imagine her as a faceless orifice, a sex doll to be used in your Christian ejaculatory efforts.”

I was with you until your weird three-shells towel sesh. Separate towels is overkill.

The problem with the wave is th—WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO—at it interrupts everything you are trying to focus on and makes it impossible to actuall-WOOOOOOOOOOOOOO-y follow the game. I mean, I have no pr-WOOOOOOOOOOoo-oblem with it during a commercial or something, and I will admit that my—WOOOOOOOoooo—kids love it, but do…

6. FOUR SUPER BOWLS! SUCK OUR FAHKIN CAWK QUEAHS!

This is all I can think of:

Bloody good pun.

This is why all refs should be allowed to open-carry defensive backs

“One play after the umpire was struck, a personal foul was called on Moreno for hitting the Marble Falls quarterback, who had taken a knee to run out the clock. Moreno was assessed a 15-yard penalty but was not ejected.”

“If the ref didn’t want to be assaulted, he shouldn’t have been in that situation. Or dressed that way.”