I’m with you on this one — I truly wish I could get away with handshakes for both men and women, but too frequently my offers of handshakes are brushed aside for a hug instead, as if I am being rude and/or cold for merely offering a handshake to a female friend from work.

The Pete Rose video is worse than you say, because Rose was NOT going to be out. The catcher dropped the ball, it was on the ground bouncing away from the plate. Rose gave him a forearm to the face just because he is Pete Rose: Giant Cocksore.

They should just do the Donkey Roll as made famous by the Style Boyz.

The thing is, when somebody is a racist idiot like this you only have two choices: (A) try to change his mind, or (B) wait for him to die. I can see the appeal of option B, but the problem is in the meantime he still gets to vote.

Stopping a bunch of gopher-fucking idiots from making the streets dangerous is doing their jobs. Blocking illegal skateboarders who then crash because they’re so fucking stupid is not like shooting people.

Don’t blame Stanton or his pitcher. There was an ump behind the plate whose sole job was to watch the batted balls land and signal to the pitcher that he was allowed to throw the next one.

The only way a Han Solo story could work is if they went way back to the beginning, before he transitioned.

This is why you never enter an intersection unless you are 100% certain you can get to the other side of the intersection without stopping.

Well, in fairness, a woman does not become less beautiful just because one of the men looking at her is gay. The reporter is still beautiful either way.

Is there anyone more afraid of vigilante justice than Jalopnik readers? Aside from ISIS, there is no group that should be more afraid of vigilante justice.

Yes, because only a child believes in things like waiting your turn or that you are not more important than anyone else.

Exactly. If you can’t even ask for the leftover eggroll, you’re never going to get a threesome.

One glass of water per alcoholic beverage goes a long way.

This is exactly right. Freeze the video a the moment before contact and ask yourself what the hell Rizzo is sliding at. If Hedges had stepped out of the way of the collision, Rizzo would have ran right past the plate without ever getting close to it.

It may be difficult to find evidence of collusion in stealing the election, but I think it is very likely that we will find evidence that Trump and/or his team promised to lift sanctions if a Russian bank would bail out Jared Kushner’s disastrous purchase of 666 Fifth Avenue. I think it is also likely that when the…

Is this seriously the only other possible explanation you can think of? What about he was her drug dealer and she ripped him off? What about the suspect being mentally ill?

Yes, the police have declared that the killing was the result of a dispute and that makes it okay. The suspect will be released this morning with instructions to “keep it real” because police never do anything when a murder is the result of a dispute.

It is unspeakably cruel of you to taunt an elderly man who is suffering from dementia into harming himself.

That episode was a classic, they should definitely put a tape of it in the NBC time capsule.

This makes exactly as much sense as the rest of the show. Or at least as much sense as Season 1, after which I vowed never to watch another episode, so I don’t know if it started making sense after that. Guessing based on this article, I’d have to say no.