Go play roller hockey then. Zone entries are the key to the entire flow of a hockey game, and if you take them away, you fundamentally alter the way the game is played.

*Rex Ryans bursts in, wheezing*
Heard the...headline...need to...hear more.

Right. Also, the stark division down ethic lines of who’s going and who isn’t can’t be good for team unity. Your teammates are essentially saying, “Yes I know he hates people who look like you BUT [my autograph / my photo-op / I don’t really care about you].” That’s how you build a great clubhouse environment!

In related news, Tim Thomas will be making his 11th trip to the White House this year, stating that “one more punch on my visitors card and I get a free well done steak”

David Price, Mookie Betts, Jackie Bradley Jr., Rafael Devers, Hector Velazquez, and Christian Vazquez

What of Orbit vs. Ben Roethlisberger?

This is so much more wholesome than when Clark the Cub harasses opposing players for HJs.

Pretty sure this is actually a list of Bristol Palin’s exes.

is Tony suggesting that Washington... take back the item that they gave?

Mood

You got screwed in the playoffs.  Congratulations, you’re officially an NHL franchise.

The Mets are the anti-vaxxers of baseball. 

MLB - “We’re totally against anything racist, suspensions all around!”

Also MLB - “This week on Sunday Night Baseball: Braves at Indians!”

If you had to fight 100 Sasha Banks-sized Luke Harpers or one Luke Harper-sized Sasha Banks, which would you choose?

Joe West can go eat paste and leave us alone forever

McCarthy was like a father to Aaron.

I was already 20 when Ichiro joined MLB and I think I’d thought I was years past the part of my life where a professional athlete could ever be the kind of immortal, larger-than-life figure that, say, Michael Jordan or Lawrence Taylor or Martina Navratilova had seemed to be when I was a kid. But Ichiro was—and in lots…

Griffey in the dugout to greet Ichiro made me nostalgic for all of the Mariners teams of my youth that always found a way to came up just short.

“Get on your knees boy and buy this Tundra!”

The thing I loved about this story, is Keisel couldn’t help but tell on himself. People (dipshits in particular) seem to forget that professional athletes play at an incredibly elite level, with the most insane shit talkers on earth. These shit talkers are all programmed to spend every minute of the game trying to get…