I’ve gotten grief for being adamant about teaching my daughters how to cook because “women don’t NEED to cook to feed men” but I’m teaching them because they NEED to be able to feed themselves. Yes, restaurants exist but I grew up broke so it’s hard to break the “Hay comida en la casa” mentality.

she’s white.

“Honey, I was so worried when I lost you. I thought you might be in the bottom of this cup, so I had to drink the whole beer. Then you weren’t there so I ordered another beer, thinking you might have been lost at the bottom of that cup. Long story short, I spent $300 on beer and then decided to check the Frozen ride. …

These studies are always less harrowing once the math folks helpfully remind us of this.

Evil makes people ugly, but it keeps them alive.

I think the argument is that the healthier you are, the less likely you are to suffer health problems for decades before shoving off the mortal coil.

If I hit 80, I’m tryin’ heroin.

drinking one to four sugary drinks per month was linked with a 1 percent increased risk; two to six per week with a 6 percent increase; one to two per day with a 14 percent increase; and two or more per day with a 21 percent increase.

Sure, it takes years off your life. But they’re the shitty years!! My great aunt lived to 92, which was about 20 years longer than it should have been. between the macular degeneration, osteoporosis and dementia, she ended up talkingto her dead relatives, complaining she couldn’t see them.

Just remember that a “21% increase” in the likelihood of an unlikely event such as early death makes it....still pretty damn unlikely. If you have a 0.1% chance of early death, and you drink 2 sodas per day, you now have a 0.121% chance of early death.

No. I’m close to the area. People were literally parking on the fwy, and a few small children even wandered into the traffic. It’s an actual problem. Like, go, but don’t be a dumbass. Stay on the walkway, park in the designated area and watch your kids.

Thanks for calling my grandmother famous.

Fact: Soda takes years off your life.

What if I mix the SSB with alcohol? Surely this is a two wrongs make a right situation!

A couple of feminist friends took me to task for saying Holmes faked her voice. They said higher octaves don’t help women in the workplace, which I don’t argue with, and she only “lowered her voice an octave,” which in their minds wasn’t fake. I say she lowered it way TOO much, and that’s what makes it fake.

Paris Jackson gets so much hate from all sides. People who hate her dad take it out on her. Her dad’s fans hate her for not defending him publicly, which isn’t her job. I wonder how much a girl can take. 

Gah, you’re right, I’m fixing. I should have just sold highlighter palettes.

It me, an Old:

They are a bonded pair. They will be adopted together.