Holy shit. Did Justin Bieber just enter the room? I think those shrieks have damaged my hearing!

I’m not sure why this is a surprise. It’s always difficult making a big money move to a famous club and having to learn a new language at the same time! I’m sure he’ll adjust once he gets that Italian down.

Wow, your theory makes a lot more sense and has just a little more depth than my theory of, “That’s what happens when you let the Life & Culture people do an article about a sporting venue.”
Still, at least this isn’t as bad as Taiwan accidentally printing a picture of Dulles International Airport on all their…

This is just another example of a bandwagon ManU fan trying to one up Liverpool!

I haven’t cut the cord partially because of the sports aspect. I like being able to see high quality sporting events that you can’t get on the old guard streaming options of Netflix, Hulu, etc. And as I love soccer as well, the PS Vue and DirecTV options were limited for some of the important stations carrying those…

Dr. Narwhals Mating? I’m not sure how in good conscience you can give a #1 seed to what is clearly just Larry Nasser’s online kiddy porn forum alias.

Why can’t these darn kids just appreciate playing Tron on a jail-broken TI-85 calculator during Algebra like we did back in the day? Also... Get off my lawn!

Another doctor here... I completely agree. Whenever I hear about a healthy young athlete collapsing and dying on a basketball court unexpectedly, I pretty much assume it is HOCM (hypertrophic obstructive cardiomyopathy) until proven otherwise. Sad that it happens enough for me to make such an assumption. Hank Gathers…

‘Cuse vs. Duke? I’d have thought the collective public hatred/distaste for these two teams would’ve caused the entire building to combust!

Because what time sporting events and the Oscars begin and end are OBVIOUSLY the most important consideration in this debate. Actually, anything that decreases viewership of the Oscars I am in favor of. Skip the inane droning and babbling acceptance speeches and just check the list of winners in the morning!

Yes, I live in Pensacola. The panhandle of Florida is Central time, so this would move us to Eastern time without Daylight Savings Time. So our little tiny part of a state would be in a completely different and unique time situation to anywhere else in the country. People would eventually get used to the Florida…

I think the main question I’m left with after this article is: does anyone know a good roofing company in Omaha?

My grandpa had an honest to goodness mechanized hook prosthesis for a left hand after an accident repairing a combine on the farm. I guess that’s more of an incredibly strong Pirate move, though, isn’t it?

So I had to wait with great anticipation until Tuesday for Billy to write an unsurprisingly hyperbolic article about one of my favorite players scoring four goals and assisting on another... and he wrote the article about this asshat instead? Even Messi knows how amazing golden boot leader Mo played this weekend, see?

Survey writer’s pa then told him: Any Moura tha’, Son, I’ll smack you upside the head with me Kane!

I want to know, at what point will it be fair to compare him to Sam “Allerdicci”, except with more mystique and better players?

You might want to get that checked out by a neurologist...

I used to ascribe to this take whole-heartedly, but then one time I held on a little too long at the bar just to catch the running of the Kentucky Derby, ran to the gate to find it closed. Missed my flight for my grandpa’s funeral. Ok, I still made the funeral by catching the next flight, but I’ve been paranoid about…

The worst, though, is the parental phishing Text & Call combo. My dad would know that I wouldn’t always pick up his calls if I was doing something important, like reading Deadspin or virtually anything else. But he still wasn’t really on board with the texting thing. So he would send a “How are you?” text. Then, the…

Having lived on the South Side of Chicago, your going to be shocked when I tell you the education system’s in place down there are all top notch!!