Oh, back in the day pieces, when Jezebel was worth reading.

Yes yes this. But can I just say....the bottom ads nowadays are so fucking annoying. I’m sure they must make a fuckton of money for someone, but they’re soooooo goddamn annoying and not appealing to me. Like I get that they might be appealing to me if I made 20K more per year and lived 1000 km elsewhere and was…

They’re from the Sunshine Coast in Queensland, not Sydney in New South Wales. They’re different states. Jezebel writers are the worst at this...Americans would never put up with us mixing up their states.

1) They’re not talking about you. The men they’re talking about are usually quite different from you. Like when black people talk about white people doing X and Y that I don’t do (like touching their hair etc),

They don’t. But if you’re only whining about unimportant things (every song I’ve heard from her is complaning), it’s not unimaginable that people would come to the conclusion that you don’t have anything important to say, or that people with actual problems get irritated by your plaintative whinging.

Yeah, when you can’t hold a tune, everyone can sing along to your music easily!

Saldana has already distanced herself from the movie, and has said that Nina “deserves better” http://www.huffingtonpost.com.au/entry/zoe-sald…

My point exactly! She writes a whole song lamenting a neighbourhood, actually THE NEXT SUBURB OVER from where she lives, and she doesn’t get it right. It’s this really limited and whiny, whitebread hipster view of the world that gets to me. I burnt my mouth on coffee. I’m going to write a song about it. BUCK UP, KIDDO…

Courtney Barnett is triple irritating. She just makes songs about minor annoyances. OH MY SHOELACE IS UNTIED. NOW I HAVE TO SIT ON A MILK CRATE AND TIE IT. SONG INSPIRATION.

You should start calling her Ms. Forgetress. Or just The Forgetress. I think I like that better.

DOROTHY WINNIFRED

I’m proud of my family and their history that’s written on my face. Freckles are beautiful. Go fuck yourself.

Tell me more. Can I track carbs?

Oh, I forgot too, they shouldn’t be one width all the way across. Eyebrows start out wider and gradually taper! There are a few exceptions, (famke Jannsen has weirdly great freaky eyebrows) but generally these rules apply for a timeless brow.

My general recommendation is to let your eyebrows go crazy wild so your brow person has the maximum to work with. Generally speaking, you want to work with what you’ve got. Don’t ignore your natural brow shape and impose your idea of someone else’s/a trendy brow shape on your face.

Can’t say you’re wrong!

It was also grossly inappropriate to have that gross Intel ad at the beginning. A tribute is a tribute, please don’t exploit someone’s death so crassly for money.

Kaley Cuoco from Big Bang Theory is a huge offender.

Yes. A Persian lady. Persian ladies in their late 50s and 60s with massive blowouts are keepers of eyebrow secrets. They always give you the Absolute best eyebrows that suit your natural brow and your face shape. IDK what it is, but when I’ve veered from seeing my Iranian Eyebrow Queen(s) I have humbly slunk back…

Hard and fast rules are bad plans in the eyebrow game. If you pluck only on the under side, you risk Sperm brow.