Good spot for Owumi. Qaddafi needed a PG—had enough shooters.

Took him a couple tries to Hittite across.

A couple of the bikes had flames painted on the sides so they, you know, had it coming.

Would it be better if 50 porn stars followed your boyfriend on Instagram? No. Be quiet and let the poor bastard have his porn—it's probably one of the few bright points in his life. That and match.com.

List of common reasons for an in-flight fire over Wisconsin:
1. Grill Class
2. Mid-air collision

That's why he kept calling every play to the left side in the first half.

+1

"Excuse me, what time does Twister sta-"

Second-degree kidnapping and third-degree assault? Christ, it's like he's not even trying.

Judging from the photo, Pelini will be prosecuted under the Three Stripes Law.

Thats nothing. Took them three hours to get to the hotel because Matheny won't let the bus turn left.

Dufner didn't want to go to China—Auburn guys are a little distrustful of Yangtzes.

Dufner didn't want to go to China—Auburn guys are a little distrustful of Yangtzes.

Seriously?
— Bartlett

Huh, just the one Tolkien elf?

What happened? I just looked away from my hairline for a second.
— LeBron James

Bad call-that's a touchback.

My apologies to Same Sad Echo—that's pretty close—but completely unintentional. Different—but just bearly.

Best Viking's beard since Esera Tuaolo's.

Wow, getting a photo of a newly discovered species of bear would be special—a real Kodiak Moment.