Any animal under 50 lbs is a cat, and cats are pointless

Elegant dinner party for the most elegant people in alllll of New Yoooooork!

Earl The Dead Cat is the best cat I’ve ever had... more than 25 yrs and not a single meow.

I think your uncles and my dad should get together and go bowling.

Everyone has their own inflection points. Takes a strong person to hold one’s convictions in the face of race baiting, misogyny, alleged election fraud, alleged collusion with a foreign power within your campaign team, charity mismanagement, impetuousness, incessant Twitter farts, suggesting violence against your…

What we need is a Constitutional amendment saying no law can be longer than the Constitution itself. If under 5,000 words could launch a nation and sustain it for over two centuries, that’s probably a lesson to be learned.

Dogs rule... cat’s are annoying.

If your apartment is that small then you probably shouldn’t have cats. They need space. If they can’t run once in a while, they age in horrible pain.

If a tree is removed and no one was around to witness it, was it ever really there?

Pie is also a great way to get rid of crappy fruit. I guess you’d need a lot of them, though.

It does and I have one, but it’s not enough room. Also, I have no wall space. I have 6 smaller cupboards, down from the 27 I had in my previous home (not all of them were filled by the way) and a pantry which is where all of my food has to go because the cupboards are packed. We’re redoing the kitchen next year and…

I also think it is worth looking not just at what you need on the counter every day, but what you might not actually need at all. When we moved into our place with a small kitchen, we completely ditched the microwave, toaster, and coffee maker. Years later, I still don’t miss any of them one bit. We decided to use a…

Who cares what this evil piece of shit has to say? His lies and insincere platitudes wouldn’t change a thing, and he’s a lauging stock in the eyes of the world.

If you haven’t talked to someone in a long while and then are surprised when they have a baby...after 9 months you haven’t reached out or vice versa, it shouldn’t be a shock you aren’t really good friends anymore.