My husband calls all types of dress shirts simply “shirts”. It makes for some very amusing conversations. Like,

And also wouldn’t have singing, which is key to my enjoyment of non-animated movies.

It’s pretty obvious that this is actually all the fault of Ferdinand and Isabella.

Women? Drinking coffee?! My uterus is hysterical enough without stimulants, thank you! Someone fetch me my fainting couch!

Also the fact that she has 1200 pairs of shoes and she wore *those* to her wedding? Girl!

It’s a martial arts leotard, duh!

Girl, saaaame!

The ones we have here are poop-brown and always trying to get in the house. Through the back door, the pipes, the windows even! I have a designated slug-flinging chopstick!

The fuck does a bad haircut have to do with educating children? Is the emergency situation ‘my mom just took me to great clips and I’m afraid all the kids in 3rd grade will laugh at me tomorrow'???

Did they use Donald Trump as a hand model for the new cover?

Get some fritos!

It looks like tortilla chips to me, but my brain is 90% thoughts of tortilla chips lately because it’s been like 6 months since I’ve had a decent one.

Did she? Idk. Still, it tastes awful. There’s no reason to drink it unless you’re like working an overnight or 4am-start and you have to cram as much caffeine as possible into your body on your 15 minute break.

Is Demi Moore drinking red bull? Who drinks redbull in the year of our lord* two thousand sixteen?? Especially when you’re rich enough to afford real drugs.

Yes. This is also my answer.

I agree 100% with everything you said and also I love your username

I mean, I can see how if you’ve boned and fathered 3 kids with your twin sister, you might feel really committed to the idea of the two of you being soulmates and each other’s one true love...because the alternative is that you could’ve just not boned your sister and found someone else to be perfectly happy with...

I take a thing called ProBio 7, which I love solely because it comes in a capsule and is probiotic + fiber. You can order it off Amazon in the US.

I get what you’re saying, and I wouldn’t look askance at someone who had written “Elizabeth and me,” but I don’t think you can generalise like that when you’re talking about two fragments. We often do things that aren’t strictly correct when writing/speaking informally (which often means lots of fragments) because…

Probably lupus.