Damn ‘ginas amirite

This is very Alan Partridge.

“Have a few cups of coffee, OKC” more like

Right? Do whatever you want with your money, grieving pepole, but at least hire someone with more than 5 hours of experience with photoshop.

I was just thinking that sounded like they’d finally got the hang of what Jezebel’s all about. 1 part snark gossip, 1 part horribly depressing news about how your rights are slowly being eroded!

Except the coffee maker one...should read “light it on fire, buy a new one"

That header image made me think this article was going to be about That Guy who always shows up to talk out of his ass at you if you so much as admit to the slightest uncertainty about anything.

This was my first thought when I saw the headline. Southerners just don’t understand the true spirit of hockey.

I certainly hope no one tries to prove you wrong on this. I can’t imagine what could be worse, but the Internet is a dark and terrifying place.

At very young ages, it probably really depends on their experiences and what kinds of conversations the parents are having with the kid as to how much of an understanding they have of death and injury. I can see a 6-7 year old who hasn’t been taught about death and hasn’t experienced it not really understanding it…

Wait WHAT?? Why is Justin Theroux living *my* best life???

I would feel like a literal god if I dumped Michael Fassbender. Like I would never have another moment of self-doubt or insecurity ever again for as long as I lived.

Paternalism: it's not just for men!

And her deep, abiding love of glitter

Ha!

I DON’T KNOW! HOW CAN YOU EVEN ASK ME TO CHOOSE?!

That’s...quite a bugbear you’ve got there.

Imagine them having a dinner party! Box Man has to go to bed early because he’s got an important meeting or whatever on the morning, so he just finishes off his glass of wine, turns around and crawls into the box.

I don’t think I will ever be done processing it.

Stigmata Jammie Dodgers?!? WANT.