Let’s start with a salad. No nacho cheese. No cheeseburgers. No french fries. Those aren’t salad toppings, Guv.

At the very least Christie should have a dude to go on his food runs for him. Unless it was something like “No no no, Doug - how many times have I told you, when I say I want extra nacho cheese I want EXTRA NACHO CHEESE! What the fuck am I supposed to do with THIS!? I guess I have to do it myself!”...etc.

To be fair, he’s not far off from this look wearing his pants, either. Seriously, this guy’s got money to burn, so why not go to a tailor who can make him look less...like him?

But...but...didn’t you read her heartfelt “honesty jam” in The New Yorker? It was ripped right from her soul! Like, when she was growing up...on BROADWAY, you see...she longed for a box full of puppies! How many New Yorker articles does she need to write for you to get this?

Yes - absolutely. There’s so much abject insufferability in this. The bland, casual narcissism and anti-charisma of the New Yorker article (see, to some folks adopting a shelter dog is a symbol of how caring they are and, hey, another excellent excuse to blather on about yourself), as you say, using the dog as a…

It’s like Hooters but with male waiters with boners.

But why not Dane Cook?

I’ve got my fingers crossed that someday we’ll see the Larry the Cable Guy/Jeff Dunham auto-erotic asphyxiation murder/suicide, but until this this really is his best stuff.

If you get your arm snapped arm wrestling Larry the Cable Guy...you just might be a redneck.

At my school the various cafeterias served three meals a day and were open from 6am to 7pm, seven days a week during school sessions. The summer slowdown is problematic, sure, but these people aren’t working 1/3 of a workday.

Oh HELL yeah. Many in our society believe that doing physically demanding, thankless service work has no value in our society. Which is total BS. I think it’s a measure of privilege that many view this kind of job as not only beneath them, but unworthy of a livable wage.

I think a true measure of asshole-ism is how someone interacts at work. Not talking about managers, who in some organizations (run by assholes) are expected to be assholes or they’re being “too nice”.

Yep - my wife and i have always gone with Dirt Devils. Our first lasted ~10 years; we’ve had a bagless for about 3 years now that works just fine, but we don’t have a lot of carpet. If we had more carpet I’d want a beater brush.

Any recommendations on a diaper bag that still makes me look like I can perform a root canal on a grizzly bear while still carrying my newborn?

I think weed is different, though. I don’t believe it’s physically addictive, but mentally, sure. It becomes a lifestyle. I know people who go through almost their entire life high - which I totally don’t get. I can’t function like that, but then that’s why I guess I have a real job and am a reasonably reliable…

Very well said. I feel like some form of this should be tacked onto the base of the Statue of Liberty.

I agree. This is really pointless and dumb. Just like when Stephen King or another famous author has a book published and the cover says “blah blah writing as so-and-so”...that pretty much ruins the mystery, doesn’t it?

I guess if you’re using the iron-clad “I was so drunk I don’t remember” defense, there’s nothing they can do.

Come on, people! Let’s get this one more stars!

KUSA reported at the time that Talib had been telling those close to him that he accidentally shot himself